Damn scales!

Ok...I couldn't stand it any longer...I'm feeling noticeably less "round" today. My arms feel closer to my sides. There seems to be a lot of fat gone from just under the most prominent part of my chest. My abdomen feels smaller. My arms are smaller. My capris are looser and I felt excited all day about losing weight and making progress...I decided I just had to see how much more I'd lost....it felt like at least a few pounds, but not more than 5.....so I got on the scales just now and it says I've gained 1.5 lbs!!!! I think the scales lie...damn scales! ...and yes, I took my clothes off (except for undies)!

And I'd just finished making some of the guilt-free bean dip and the Mexican meatball soup. I'd just gotten everything out to make some Mediterranean tuna salad and checked to make sure I had everything to make the baked tilapia tomorrow.

And Kari had just sent me a new soup recipe to try that freezes well. Well, at least I can say I'm eating much healthier, feeling and sleeping much better, moving with much more energy, feeling much more alert (did I have fat in my brain, too??), and clearer looking skin....and can wear some of the clothes I was wearing 1-2 yrs. ago.

White Bean & Turkey Chipotle Chili

1 lb. ground turkey
1/2 lg. onion, chopped
1 garlic clover, chopped
16 oz. fat-free chicken broth
1/2 t. cumin
1/2 t. oregano
1/2 t. chili powder, chipotle variety (this is something I might leave out)
15 oz. can navy beans, drained and rinsed
1 1/2 T. fresh lime juice
1/4 c. fresh cilantro, coarsely chopped
salt and pepper to taste

Spray skillet with cooking spray or use 1 T. olive oil. Cook turkey, onion and garlic over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until turkey is browned, about 10 minutes; drain off any fat.

Add turkey mixture and remaining ingredients to a large pan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes.

Note: Recipe can easily be doubled. Hmmm...I might add a can of diced tomatoes to this.



Mediterranean Tuna Salad (85 calories--makes 2 1/2 c.)

2 6 oz. pouches albacore tuna
2 T. low-fat mayo
juice of 1 lemon, about 2 T.
2 T. drained and finely chopped roasted red peppers
10 Kalamata olives, pitted and finely chopped (I think I'm going to substitute capers or black olives)
2 T. finely chopped onion
salt and pepper to taste

Empty tuna into small bowl and mash with a fork until very finely flaked. Add all other ingredients and stir to combine, adding a little water or chicken broth to further moisten if necessary.

Feeling smaller...

I woke up yesterday morning and felt smaller.....especially in the whole abdominal area. I put on a pair of pants and a shirt that I had not worn at all last year--and they weren't tight! So I walked around all yesterday and today feeling smaller. I can tell I'm not carrying around as much weight. I sleep so much better and that feels wonderful.

I'm not a slave to weighing myself. In fact, I'm actually afraid to. Losing only 1-2 pounds a week means that if I weigh daily then I don't feel like I'm making any progress because some days you haven't lost anything. But I feel smaller and I'm wearing clothes I haven't worn in a year or more, so that's ok with me. I think big changes will happen in a few weeks when I get my first band fill (Oct. 16) and I start going to Curves. In the meantime, I'm focusing on having a healthy eating schedule.

This is what my daily menu looks like:

Breakfast: 6 oz. drink made with Whey Gourmet and skim milk. The peanut butter chocolate flavor is super yummy! On Saturday mornings I fix myself an egg beaters omelet with sauted mushrooms and Canadian bacon.

Lunch: A half sandwich on wheat bread with turkey. Sometimes I add a piece of no-fat swiss cheese and/or a squirt of salad spritzer.....or I have a cup of soup. This past week I had the Italian Tomato Soup.

Supper: Baked fish (almost always salmon) with sliced tomato and another vegetable or a baked potato with Butter Buds and a chopped piece of sandwich ham (I only have this once a week), or soup.

Snacks: Water, string cheese, watermelon, jello & cottage cheese, or rice crackers. Sometimes I have have the rice crackers with picante sauce or the bean dip that I made. I usually take the string cheese and the jello/cottage cheese to school with me. Once in a while I have some sugar-free jello pudding.

That's about it. Not a lot of variety at this point, but I'm not suffering because of it. It has simplified my life a lot.

These are the 2 recipes I'm going to try this weekend:

Roasted Tilapia With Green Chile Crema (97 calories)

4 5-6 oz. talapia fillets
1 t. olive oil
kosher salt and black pepper
1 4 oz. can roasted mild green chiles, well drained, or 1/2 c. roasted salsa verde
1/2 c. reduced-fat sour cream
1/4 c. chopped cilantro
juice of 1 lime, 1 1/2 - 2 T.

Preheat oven to 425 F. Rub fillets with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for 6-8 min., until opaque throughout. Pulse the chiles, sour cream, cilantro and lime juice in a food processor, and season with salt and pepper (I might add a bit of garlic, too.) Transfer the fish to plates and spoon on the green chile crema.

Mexican Meatball Soup (79 calories--makes 6 cups)

1 T. olive oil
1 lg. sweet onion, finely diced
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 bay leaf
1 qt. chicken stock or broth
1 16 oz. can diced tomatoes
1/2 c. medium-hot tomato salsa
3/4 c. chopped cilantro
1/2 lb. ground turkey breast
2 T minced red onion
2 T. yellow cornmeal
3 T. skim milk
1 lg. egg
1/4 t. cumin
kosher salt and pepper
Tabasco sauce , optional

Heat oil in large pot over medium-high heat. Add, onion, half of garlic, and bay leaf and saute until very soft and golden brown, about 8 min. Add the stock, tomates with juice, salsa, and about 1/3 of the cilantro. Bring to a boil, then cover, reduce the heat, and simmer for 15 min.

Combine the turkey, red onion, cornmeal, milk, egg, cumin, 1/2 t. salt, a few grinds of black pepper, the remaining garlic, and another 1/3 of the cilantro, blending well. Shape the meat by rolling generous tablespoons into 1-inch balls. Add the meatballs to the soup and bring to a low boil, stirring occasionally. Cover the soup, reduce the heat, and simmer for 20 minutes. Season with salt, pepper, and Tabasco; stir in the remaining cilantro. Discard the bay leaf before serving.

Note: I couldn't stand the idea of adding raw meat to the soup, so I browned my meatballs in olive oil first. Also, since the tube of turkey is 16 oz. I went ahead and just doubled the recipe for the meatballs, cooked all of them, then put half in the soup and froze the other half. This is really delicious soup! You can serve a bit of chopped avocado in your bowl with the soup, too.

It's a miracle!

Finally!! I've found a protein drink that I really, really like! Granted, it may not appeal to everyone, but when I opened it this morning and smelled of it (I've always smelled of new foods first, haven't you?)...it smelled so yummy! It is peanut butter chocolate flavor! 1 scoop mixed with 6 oz. of milk yields 22 gr. of protein and 120 calories. The brand is Whey Gourmet and I ordered a 2 lb. container of it from bariatriceating.com.

Now I really feel like I'm on the right track...was getting worried about not having a low-sugar, low-carb protein drink that I could stand to drink. This will make my life soooo much easier!!

Things I've discovered...

1. String cheese does not melt.

2. No matter what anyone says, I haven't found a ready-to-drink low-sugar protein shake (yet) that actually tastes good...I even "doctored" one up this morning (white chocolate strawberry flavor)...added 2 spoonfuls of crushed pineapple, 1/4 c. low-fat ricotta cheese, 1 t. vanilla, 1/2 t. Splenda....ugh! Drank about 1/3 of it...threw it out...and made an egg beaters omelet with green onion, mushrooms, low-fat mozerella, and Canadian bacon--all "legal" stuff that I can have.

3. It it so hard to NOT drink something with a meal....I realized in advance this would be a big struggle for me....like right now....it seems so wrong to not have a glass of o.j. with my breakfast!

4. I'm loving having 1/2 c. of watermelon as a snack almost daily.

5. They make a sugar-free Oreo---why? lol

6. Jello and small-curd cottage cheese can be quite filling...I take it for a snack at school.

7. My energy level has really shot up...I can tell a tremendous difference on the job....thank goodness! I hated that lethargic feeling, not being able to bend over, the mental sluggishness.

8. It i$ expen$ive to completely re$tock your cabinet$, fridge, and freezer!!!

9. I'm sleeping much better and feeling rested when I get up.

10. Rice or soy chips/crackers really taste good! I'll have to be careful that I eat only the recommened serving size! They really satisfy that crunchy, salty craving I get once in a while. They're also good to use with dips like hummus, guacamole, or bean dip.

Food management...

Last week was not an easy week for me--trying to juggle food intake with a balance of rest while not feeling well and trying to work yet faced with long drives--ugh!

I felt guilty for not following the prescribed/suggested food list. I hardly had any protein shakes. Instead, I was living off half turkey sandwiches, string cheese, jello w/cottage cheese, V-8, soup, and wheat crackers....and one night I even had refried beans, rice, and chicken enchiladas! (I could only eat half...but man, was it delicious!) While none of that may sound like anything bad to you, and it really isn't--I was not overeating by any stretch of the imagination-- I just felt out of control...like I'll be the only lapbanded person who won't lose weight!

Yesterday I went to the book store in search of a recipe book geared specifically towards people who've had weight-loss surgery....and I found a great one that addresses everything! The recipes are practical and sound delicious. There is a Q & A section about life after surgery. Food stages are discussed and outlined. Proteins and carbs are explained in detail. Reviews are given for protein drinks and powders along with sources for purchasing them.

After skim reading parts and looking at the recipes, I ordered $150 worth of protein drinks, samples, powders, and bouillon. Then I made my grocery list to match the recipes....so I'm off to buy good things so I can spend the day cooking chicken stock, pinto bean dip, chicken salad, and whatever else sounds good!

Chicken Stock (makes 4 qts.)

1 whole chicken 2 1/2-3 lb.s
3 carrots, cut in half
3 celery stalks, cut in half
1 large onion, quartered
2 t. kosher salt
1/2 t. pepper

Place ingredients in 8-10 qt. stockpot and fill with water to cover. Bring to boil, then reduce and simmer, skimming any foam off as necessary, for 3 1/2 - 4 hrs., until reduced by about one third. Transfer chicken to bowl and pour stock through a fine-mesh sieve set over a large bowl or pot, pressing on the solids to extract as much liquid as possible. (I'm saving the carrots and onions to put in a soup.) Cool the stock at room temperature. Cover and chill until the fat has solidified, at least overnight and up to 3 days. Scrape off and discard the fat. Can freeze in 1 c. portions for later use in soups.

Pinto Bean Dip (makes 2 c.)

1 small onion, minced
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 T. olive oil
1 16 oz. can pinto beans, rinsed and drained
1/4-3/4 c. chicken stock or broth
1/4 t. cumin
kosher salt and pepper
1 T. finely chopped cilantro
1/2 c. shredded Cheddar cheese (about 4 oz.)

Saute the onion and garlic in the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, stirring constantly until lightly browned and very soft, about 6 min. Add the beans and mash with a potato masher (I put mine in the Magic Bullett) to make a coarse puree. Stir in enough broth to thin to a creamy consistency. Continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture is hot. Add the cumin, salt and pepper. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro and cheese.

Italian Tomato Soup (makes 4 c.)

1 29 oz. can whole or diced tomatoes with juice
1 15 oz. can navy or cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1 t. dried basil
2 T. grated Parmesan
1/2 t. garlic powder
Kosher salt and black pepper

Place tomatoes, beans, basil, cheese and garlic powder in blender and puree until very smooth. Pour into a medium saucepan, bring to a boil, reduce the heat, and simmer for 20 min., stirring occasionally. Season with salt and pepper.

Of course, you don't have to puree this soup, but for people needing a softer consistency diet, pureeing it just makes it easier to go down.

Be prepared...

I'll admit it....I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was. Oh, I think I was mentally prepared to make changes. I haven't had any cravings for sweets and snacks. I made as many physical preparations as I could--cleaning out fridge and cabinets, restocking with immediate need items.

However, I wasn't prepared for the things I didn't know about.

• I didn't know that I would be as sore as I was for as long as I was. Even now, if I sit too long, my waist area begins to ache and feel sore as if I had on pants that were way too tight--even tho I don't.
• I wasn't prepared for the waves of nausea that would hit me during the day this past week at school...and having dry heaves over the trashcan. Today is the first day I didn't experience any of this! I felt very down and frustrated yesterday, because this doesn't happen at home. The a/c isn't working in the library, but I have turned on box fans to help. I've left school every day between 1:30 and 2:00 after I've finished seeing classes for the day because I've just felt so drained....and still had a 45 min. drive home.
• I didn't know about the hard burps that I would have after drinking liquids. I get really thirsty sometimes and find myself not wanting to drink anything because I hate having those hard burps! I have no idea if this will go away or be a constant. Everything I read on the message boards isn't very encouraging in that area. Many people even years later still deal with the air/gas problem.
• I didn't have any idea that wearing a bra longer than 3-4 hrs. would just feel like torture!

It has been 3 weeks today. I'm probably wanting to heal faster than my 50 year old body wants to heal. I'm wanting to move around more and faster at school than I physically feel like doing. Patience was not a virtue I was born with, unfortunately.

To help myself out, I've learned to:

• Always travel with a wet washcloth in a ziploc bag in case of nausea.
• Always have a sleeve of crackers (wheat for me) to nibble on.
• Always carry a bottle of water in my purse. I've got 2 flats of bottle water in my office at school.
• Always carry a bag of food---pudding, crackers, protein drink, v-8, string cheese, yogurt.

I'm very happy to be down 24 lbs.....but it really has leveled off the last week. I don't think I've lost any during that time. I understand the it comes off much more slowly for the lapbander than for the bypass people. I'm ready for the energy level to increase so I feel like being out walking for longer distances and even re-joining Curves within the next month.

Set them free...

This morning Dr. Tom called to check on me...and had reassuring words that it is not my age that is causing me to not have the energy level that I think I should have--he says this is normal for any age. And reassuring words about listening to my body (he has 2 nurses who've had lap band surgery and they eat small meals throughout the day). I informed him that I had a few more things to add to "the list." Chuckling, he replied, "I knew you would!"

Who knew that you shouldn't use a petroleum based lip gloss/lip balm product if you are on oxygen?? Anyone ever heard that your lips could burst into flame? Well, we hadn't either. Only when I asked Lisa to hand me my lip balm in the presence of a nurse were we informed that I couldn't put any on while I was on oxygen!! When asked why, she told us it is because it is petroleum-based and, therefore, flammable! I give Lisa a look and her eyebrows have about shot off the top of her head. Lisa has been in the hospital I don't know how many times and she always travels with Chapstick and uses it regularly....this was news to her.

The smallest incision I have has now shrunk to about a half inch and is located about 3-4 inches below my bosom (I'm trying to not offend anyone here, so resorted to a thesaurus to pick the least offensive word for those who have delicate sensibilities or for those who might be horrified that I'd actually discuss my own). I say this because I'm trying to figure out why having lost about 25 lbs. and my whole chest & stomach area has begun to shrink in size that the wearing of a bra is just about more than I can stand! I even bought a front-hooking sports bra, thinking that if I could just bind them up for the sake of public decency that it would be tolerable. After being at school for an hour last Tuesday, I had to unhook it! It is like having a vice around the ribcage that just gets tighter and tighter.

I inform the good doctor Tom of this dilemma and tell him that I just want to set them free! He says, "Do it." To which I reply, "Size determines the level of public decency as to whether one can get by with this or not....and mine are not in the public decency category." Dr. Tom's advice, "Just tell them you are French!" LMAO!! Oui!

Listening to my body....

I'm a big believer in paying attention to what your body is telling you (this is what led me to pursue the lap band surgery in the first place).

Last night I just couldn't take going to bed and attempting to sleep while I was so uncomfortable with the indigestion/heartburn/gas thing going on. It even got so bad the first day I went to school this week that I had to undo my bra just so I could breathe!! I get cranky when I lose sleep....and this was going on my 3rd night this week. I start back to school full time next week (which is gonna be a huge change for me!)...I've got to get some sleep!!!

All this past week, it seems that everytime I have some protein soup, some yogurt, some Boost I would get the hard burps....to the point that the pressure would build up enough that I would find myself sitting up very straight...even stretching my neck a certain way...just to try to relieve some of the pressure. And if there was no relief that way, then eventually I ended up with a burning, uncomfortable pressure in my abdomen. Let me tell you....you can't concentrate very well, you don't want to eat anything....which meant I was always feeling hungry and never felt full. I've been using the Gax-X strips....can't say whether they help all that much or not. The gaseous build-up is coming out one way or the other regardless!

After doing some online research, I found it is considered "normal" to have indigestion early on....and on and on and on...sometimes for years for some people. Sometimes it is a sign of a slipped band (you can drink a nasty something for an x-ray to find out for sure).

So....time for some contemplation....what was my body trying to tell me? Feed me!!! I'm about 4 days away from going on mushy, soft foods (following the prescribed calendar of eating---which is designed to allow your body time to heal).....at 11:30 last night I opened up a can of V-8 juice...yes, the regular kind.....and had a few sips....then I got a piece of shaved turkey and nibbled on it....then a piece of wheat bread and nibbled (meaning chewed very well)....everything went down well....no pain...no throwing it up. So....I had a half glass of V-8 and a half turkey sandwich (just meat and bread).....AND....I had NO indigestion, no heartburn and I felt full....and went to bed and fell asleep. Amazing what happens when one listens to ones body!

Just because my body says something different than what the doctor/nutritionist recommends doesn't mean it's wrong....it's just right for me.

Things I'm looking forward to...

I started mentally preparing this list of things that I'm looking forward to after having the lap band (one word or two? I don't know!). So here in no particular order....

1. bikini panties

2. getting off BP rx and Lipitor (don't know that I want to give up the HRT--I think it might make me crazy cranky if I did...not to mention hot flashes that make me spontaneously combust!)

3. hiking at Robber's Cave

4. healthier food (let's pray that the current gas situation goes away!! It's driving me nuts! I'm not eating as much or drinking as much as I should because I'm so uncomfortable!!)

5. a bathing suit

6. a mother/daughter picture and a mother/daughter/son-in-law/dog picture

7. wearing my rings again (I took them off sometime in the past year because they were so tight....don't know that I've taken them off in over 20 years!)

8. being able to feel/see bones (you know, when you lay down and you can see your pelvic bones or rib cage---ok, you probably think that is weird)

9. having a waist

10. riding a horse (I'll let you know when I'm ready, Dustin!)

11. wearing Spanx

12. smaller bras (although Tom tells me this is the last part of the body to shrink....I'm praying they do! Is that TMI?)

13. kayaking

14. more energy

15. higher heels

16. being able to shop in any store

Stepping on the scales...

Haven't been told what my weight goal is, so I'm going to go with 140 right now...that's about 20 more than what I weighed in high school and it's what I weighed when I was at my absolute best toned and exercised in-shape self in my late 20s. I'm anxious to start the exercise process...probably in about a week. My incisions aren't healed--still covered in glue.

I found a great little ticker to visually chart progress. It includes the body mass index across the top, how much has been lost and how much more needs to be lost to reach goal weight.