Beginning of a disappearing act...

While the initial loss of 20 lbs. may not be drastically noticeable to some, there are some dramatic changes that I've seen thus far:

• the fat above my eyelids (thank you God! I may not have to have an eyelid lift after all! Which means, of course, that Dr. Tom was right all along :)
• my ankles reappearring--ok, they hadn't gone anywhere, but for the past two years I could always see and feel fluid accumulating on them, even on the top of my foot--they were in the beginning phase of old lady ankles (horrifying!).
• a crease on my jawline...ok, ok, you might call it a wrinkle, but it was only there in the mornings when I woke up or if I had my head inclined towards the left for a long period. This was due to all the fat fluid accumulating under my chin and the way I slept at night. I hated losing the feel of the bone of my jawline. Mother's side of the family seems to be genetically disposed to NOT wrinkling, and since I've had to swear off exposure to the sun, too, I really was only wrinkling due to increased fat squishing my skin in places. It was a happy moment for me yesterday when this crease was gone!
• the accumulated pillow of fat across my lower back/top of hips--uncomfortable while lying flat on my back--uncomfortable in clothing--uncomfortable period...not to mention extremely unsightly.

Those are the major physical changes which seem dramatic to me, but are probably not even noticeable to anyone else. It makes me feel encouraged, tho...and looking forward to other physical changes.....and the real me emerging transformed like a butterfly! (don't roll your eyes over that poetic remark! you know who you are~)

Living on...

You want to know what I'm actually eating? Here is the list:

lite o.j.
jello
yogurt
water
Boost High Protein
Genisoy protein powder stirred in with soup broth

I've had crystal lite once or twice, but it reminds me so much of needing a sandwich, so I haven't had any more of that.

You have to realize that I'm talking about a total of all this food equals about 16 oz. at the most for a 24 hr. period.

Forbidden fruit....oh, the temptation!

Yesterday Mother sent me out to Lisa's back yard to pick the ripe cherry tomatoes....I was seized with a craving to just bite in to one of them and taste the juicy acidic familiar flavor...ummm! Then I could just imagine it with a bit of pepper and basil sprinkled on it....

This event seemed to really trigger the mental demon of craving yesterday...something I've really had to work on the past 24 hrs. This could also be in conjunction with where I'm at in the healing process also, but I've really wanted a saltine cracker in my protein soup conconction...nice and soggy and salty with enough soft texture to just melt away in my mouth....and I've had an incredible urge to have a bite of a hot grilled hamburger bursting with juicy flavors and crisp lettuce, tangy mustard and pickles, and yummy tomato.

Part of the craving is, I think, just for some stronger flavors and variety of flavors along with texture. I really wanted something to chew yesterday...just a piece of meat to gnaw on! lol Then it seemed that something dry and crumbly and salty might be a good craving, too.

This means that for the next 6 wks. or so I'll probably be very aware/sensitive to others eating in my prescence, the smells of food, commercials on tv, ads in magazines. I've avoided being around when Lisa, Mother, and Lori eat supper at night or when Mother eats during the day, however, this morning, something smelled like toast that really triggered a craving. I did not go investigate...just stayed away until the coast was clear and I could start the day with Boost.

oh, the forbidden fruit is tempting!!

Small accomplishments~

I could lay on my side today for the first time! Not for a long period, but, hey, for a person who sleeps on her side, that has been difficult to give up!

I actually put on panties and clothes today! That made me feel more normal. This whole "clear liquid" diet in conjunction with being sore, cut open, etc. give one a "I'm sick" mentality....so I'm trying to work past.

Had orange juice! Lisa diluted it, but, being able to enjoy something that had always been part of my breakfast routine made me feel a bit more normal also.

Down 15 lbs!

Ok...I know that sounds pretty drastic considering it hasn't even been a week since the surgery, but when only a certain amount of food will fit inside, something is going to go away....and I've got lots of fat for my body to feed off of for a week or two. :) It is pretty shocking to get on the scales two days in a row and be down 5 lbs. each day.

Today Lori found some non-flavored high protein mix that we are going to try in some broth or soup. It really is critical that I get as much protein down as possible. And, thankfully, she'd bought me some chewable Flintstone vitamins! Woo hoo! We can throw out the Geritol! (ick! nasty! vile stuff!) Over the next week, I've really got to work on increasing the protein and liquids amount. Can tell that my energy level is flagging and I don't want that weak feeling.

It's a math thing...

Down 1.5 lbs.

Lisa has created a chart for me to follow (and to help Mother, too). She's got it scientifically worked out for a full day of how many ounces of what and how often. Basically, have to be sipping for 12 hours with 15-30 minute breaks in order to get 60 grams of protein.

The powder protein Cookies and Cream was just too sweet tasting. By last night I was nauseated at the thought of having anything else sweet tasting. The powder protein Chocolate was bitter tasting. I like the High Protein Boost and Slim Fast; they are just 5 grams less than the powder which means drinking more of it on a more frequent basis.

I'm loving being able to have jello (ah, the childhood memories! Grandma always seemed to have a bowl of it ready for us in the summertime--orange, black cherry, and strawberry/banana being the preferred flavors). Water is a chaser for nasty tasting things like my crushed meds, Geritol (gad! the pharmacist recommended it as the best liquid vitamin--it is nasty, and my vocabulary just can't find words to describe the taste! ugh!) Had about a 1/2 oz. of chicken soup broth last night, but was too full to have more.

I'm not quite as sore today. Still having a lot of burping, but the Gax-X strips are helping with that. Slept with the CPAP last night and felt much more rested. Was having difficulty trying to fall asleep. Could feel my throat closing up because of the position I was in.

Lisa and I have decided that there needs to be more patient education given as to dealing with the realities after surgery, i.e., the difficulties of getting 60 grams of protein down the first few days after surgery, time needed for the physical adjustment to be able to ingest the large amounts of liquid when you physically cannot ingest that much, the difference between tightness due to the banding vs. swelling from incisions vs. gas, a chart to help you plan what to buy before surgery, a chart to help you document your intake, your blood pressure, your temperature, your breathing routine, your leg lifts, your walking, etc. One can never assume that the average patient has had surgery, is good at math or problem-solving, or is in tune with their body enough to recognize signs (ex., I thought I was running a fever last night...sure enough 99.7...some people would have thought they were just hot).

60 grams of protein a day

It's been 48 hours since surgery. Despite my good intentions to not do anything which might cause me to throw up, I've had dry heaves twice. I've been told this was probably due to anethesia. With 5 incisions and absolutely nothing on my stomach, it was very painful.

Lisa stepped into the role of being such a good nurse that I don't even want to go home! She's figured out all the math of how I'm going to get down 60 grams of protein a day in a liquid form, made me do the breathing thing (which I hate doing since I'm so sore!), and has made several lists of things I need and sent Lori on at least three errands today.

Lori took my car and got it serviced and oil changed...thank goodness! The radiator needed flushed, the brake fluid needed replacing, etc. Not that this was a cheap errand, but I just had not had time to get it done in the past 2 weeks.

Lisa finally figured out that mixing up a scoop of 20 gram protein powder in 6 oz. of water would mean that I had 18 oz. to get down during the day. I've had Sonic ice, some jello, 1/2 of a popsicle, some Boost, Crystal Lite, V-8 Splash....and so far I've only had about 15 oz. of fluide today....and about 15 grams of protein. I think I'll end up being a bit short today of the recommended daily requirements. It has taken us all day to get it all figured out. Basically, I've got to get the protein down first....and then can enjoy having all the other stuff as I feel like it. I need to have a total of 64 fluid oz. a day. We'll start over tomorrow and see if we can manage better. All this number crunching, scheduling, etc. is right down Lisa's alley....so I'm pretty much at her mercy right now.

Lori is going to get Mother tomorrow to bring her down for the week. There is just no way I can go back to school this week. I can't even put underwear on! Can't drive while taking the Tylenol3. So who know...I may be off for 2 weeks...hoping for just 1 week, but we'll see how it goes.

Surgery schedule

I have to be at hospital at 10:45 am on Thursday, August 23rd for a noon surgery--I'll be the first one of the day. Should be checking out on Friday sometime between noon and 2:00 pm.

Blood pressure was good (124/62), heart rate good (74), chest x-ray clear, cholesterol 155, all that other blood stuff was good (I can't remember what all the numbers were).

Lisa is going to go with me on Thursday. I told Kari not to bother with coming up since she is trying to get started and settled in to her job (which is essentially a classroom teaching position!! People are so ignorant about the purpose of a library!). I'll spend Friday night at Lisa's and she'll drive me to McKinney on Saturday where somebody from the Arthur household will meet me and drive me home. Dr. Green told me that I can go back to school whenever I feel like it.

Will be glad to have this done and over with considering I've been jumping through insurance hoops for it since last November.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! I have a great support group who I know will be thinking of me~

Have spent some time experimenting with what I can mix up in the Magic Bullet...got my little fridge plugged in at school today and 2 flats of bottled water carried in.