An article caught my eye recently about a book that is titled "How Not to Look Old." Considering my hair is a mess (this is due to hair loss---which is freaking me out!!!), my eyeglasses look dated, I just wear the bare minimum of makeup to school (which gives that aged look), my eyelashes no longer curl (they just stick out straight---which gives that aged look, too! could be that I'm not wearing mascara on a daily basis like I used to), sagging eyelids (I so need some plastic surgery for this!)---wondering what else I was missing in the "aged look" department, I figured I'd better read the article.
Don't do this or you'll look like an OLD LADY:
1. Don't wear lipliner (omgosh!!! I love wearing lipliner!! So much that when my favorite, perfect color, Aria, was "retired" from BeautiControl, I bought all that Vickie could track down for me--about 7 or so.)
2. Don't wear dark lipstick (well, I just ordered TWO lipsticks in my new favorite color: raisinberry--and it's not on the light color side!)
3. Don't wear eyeglass chains (you'll never catch me using those things!!! Mainly because they scream "Marian the Librarian"!!!!)
4. Don't wear heavy foundation (I think I'm ok here, but I probably need to look for that "light-reflecting" makeup.)
5. Don't wear granny pants (polyester knit with elastic waist!) or mommy jeans (high rise?) (**rolling my eyes**)
6. Don't wear your hair parted down the middle (hey...I'm kinda sensitive about the hair thing right now---it's parting on the side, but I'm feeling more and more like it's a female comb-over!!! God help me!! What did I do to deserve this?? I don't see anything on the list that says I can't wear a wig.)
7. Don't have gray or white eyebrows (oh, lord! I've notice that mine are fading away!!!! Luckily they have makeup for that and I use it---just not on a daily basis)
8. Don't wear dragon-lady nails (are you kidding me?? I'm too attached to my laptops!!)
9. Don't wear hair too long (define too long---past the ears? past the shoulders?)
10. Don't wear helmet hair (God forbid...I'll never!)
11. Don't wear red fingernail polish (I used to! I try to keep it very neutral/pastel WHEN I actually take the time to wear nail polish--which is about once a year!)
12. Don't wear ballet flats or Uggs (don't own a pair of either, so I guess I'm good)
13. Don't wear too matchy-matchy clothes (you know---those sweater-shell sets...ugh!)
14. Don't wear metallic shimmery colors (I try to stick to neutral colors that enhance the blue eyes---I know better than to slather on the blue eye shadow! Ugh...crepey eyelids...)
15. Don't wear black eyeliner (I don't...I have a soft grey color)
Do this to give that YOUNGER look
1. Wear bangs (ok...Gwen cut me some a few weeks ago...and this was before I'd read the article. Was she subtly telling me I was looking old??)
2. Wear sexy heals (Good lord....I'd love to, BUT I'd probably fall down and break the not-yet-healed ankle!)
3. Wear a bra that lifts the girls up between your shoulders and your elbows (Got 'em....now if they'll just shrink about two sizes---ok, realistically, is that going to happen?? Hmmm....may need to consider surgery in that area, too!)
4. Whiten your teeth (Anyone recommend the at-home whitening products that work?)
5. Wear skirts just a tad below the knee (I don't have a skirt in my closets. I do have two new dresses that I haven't worn yet....and, thankfully, they are the "appropriate" length! I must have subconsciously known they'd make me younger! ha)
6. Eat right (I am--but I'm at a stand-still on losing. I've got another fill scheduled for the 5th)
7. Exercise (I'm not---but I was--well, a tiny bit now, but not enough to count cause it's just with the rubber band thing for upper body resistance. I hope to get back to Curves soon.)
8. Wear fashionable plastic eyeglass frames (I bought TWO pair on Monday!! I love 'em! Black with zebra stripes on the inside and a pewter metallic design with split ear pieces---cause my old pair were rimless wires and that means OLD LADY looking!)
9. Lighten hair a shade or two (this is easy for those who don't have black hair...can you imagine if I lightened my hair??)
10. Wear pink lipstick (I did....before I ordered the raisinberry! I don't remember it making me look young and hip! btw...she says Clinique Bamboo Pink is the shade to wear...I'll be ordering some off E-bay ASAP!)
11. Wear SPANX (I intend to...one of these days....after more weight loss...only it won't be the bras because Lisa had an "experience" with one and I want to avoid THAT! I won't go in to details, but needless to say it wasn't a pretty sight! LOL)
so...all of my age 35+ friends....now I'm just a few years older than you! ;)
Don't do this or you'll look like an OLD LADY:
1. Don't wear lipliner (omgosh!!! I love wearing lipliner!! So much that when my favorite, perfect color, Aria, was "retired" from BeautiControl, I bought all that Vickie could track down for me--about 7 or so.)
2. Don't wear dark lipstick (well, I just ordered TWO lipsticks in my new favorite color: raisinberry--and it's not on the light color side!)
3. Don't wear eyeglass chains (you'll never catch me using those things!!! Mainly because they scream "Marian the Librarian"!!!!)
4. Don't wear heavy foundation (I think I'm ok here, but I probably need to look for that "light-reflecting" makeup.)
5. Don't wear granny pants (polyester knit with elastic waist!) or mommy jeans (high rise?) (**rolling my eyes**)
6. Don't wear your hair parted down the middle (hey...I'm kinda sensitive about the hair thing right now---it's parting on the side, but I'm feeling more and more like it's a female comb-over!!! God help me!! What did I do to deserve this?? I don't see anything on the list that says I can't wear a wig.)
7. Don't have gray or white eyebrows (oh, lord! I've notice that mine are fading away!!!! Luckily they have makeup for that and I use it---just not on a daily basis)
8. Don't wear dragon-lady nails (are you kidding me?? I'm too attached to my laptops!!)
9. Don't wear hair too long (define too long---past the ears? past the shoulders?)
10. Don't wear helmet hair (God forbid...I'll never!)
11. Don't wear red fingernail polish (I used to! I try to keep it very neutral/pastel WHEN I actually take the time to wear nail polish--which is about once a year!)
12. Don't wear ballet flats or Uggs (don't own a pair of either, so I guess I'm good)
13. Don't wear too matchy-matchy clothes (you know---those sweater-shell sets...ugh!)
14. Don't wear metallic shimmery colors (I try to stick to neutral colors that enhance the blue eyes---I know better than to slather on the blue eye shadow! Ugh...crepey eyelids...)
15. Don't wear black eyeliner (I don't...I have a soft grey color)
Do this to give that YOUNGER look
1. Wear bangs (ok...Gwen cut me some a few weeks ago...and this was before I'd read the article. Was she subtly telling me I was looking old??)
2. Wear sexy heals (Good lord....I'd love to, BUT I'd probably fall down and break the not-yet-healed ankle!)
3. Wear a bra that lifts the girls up between your shoulders and your elbows (Got 'em....now if they'll just shrink about two sizes---ok, realistically, is that going to happen?? Hmmm....may need to consider surgery in that area, too!)
4. Whiten your teeth (Anyone recommend the at-home whitening products that work?)
5. Wear skirts just a tad below the knee (I don't have a skirt in my closets. I do have two new dresses that I haven't worn yet....and, thankfully, they are the "appropriate" length! I must have subconsciously known they'd make me younger! ha)
6. Eat right (I am--but I'm at a stand-still on losing. I've got another fill scheduled for the 5th)
7. Exercise (I'm not---but I was--well, a tiny bit now, but not enough to count cause it's just with the rubber band thing for upper body resistance. I hope to get back to Curves soon.)
8. Wear fashionable plastic eyeglass frames (I bought TWO pair on Monday!! I love 'em! Black with zebra stripes on the inside and a pewter metallic design with split ear pieces---cause my old pair were rimless wires and that means OLD LADY looking!)
9. Lighten hair a shade or two (this is easy for those who don't have black hair...can you imagine if I lightened my hair??)
10. Wear pink lipstick (I did....before I ordered the raisinberry! I don't remember it making me look young and hip! btw...she says Clinique Bamboo Pink is the shade to wear...I'll be ordering some off E-bay ASAP!)
11. Wear SPANX (I intend to...one of these days....after more weight loss...only it won't be the bras because Lisa had an "experience" with one and I want to avoid THAT! I won't go in to details, but needless to say it wasn't a pretty sight! LOL)
so...all of my age 35+ friends....now I'm just a few years older than you! ;)
2 comments:
I swear you will wear lipstick even if you don't have on any other make-up! ha! & did you get some Bamboo Pink?!
What's wrong with ballet flats?!?! I LUV some of my flats!! & I'd like some Uggs, I just can't decide which ones!! Since when are either of those old?!?!?
I can't wear bangs yet...I'll look 12. Maybe when I'm 40 I'll get bangs :)
Ha!! Did the spanx not work for Aunt Lisa?! Lol, I don't think I've heard the story...
And of course I wear dark lipstick, black eyeliner (every single day I might add), and red nail polish for a change from the black/navy/or purple sometimes. Do I look old????? Eek!!!
And by Eek! I mean I could care less. No article will part me from my black eyeliner!! :)
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