I can assure you, I'm not pregnant!

After signing in at the hospital (and being told their records show I hadn't met my deductible...are they nuts?? I told her that I'd had surgery in August and had written plenty of checks and I was pretty sure I'd met my $500 deductible--she didn't argue. It's a good thing--6:30 in the morning is not a good time to pull that kind of stuff with me!), I was then escorted to the lab.

The attendant asked what I was there for (lord help!!! am I supposed to know everything that is going on??) I told her I was there for my first lapband fill, so she hands me a cup and tells me she needs a urine sample. For the life of me, I don't know what that has to do with anything, but ok--whatever.

Then I go to the waiting room in X-ray where, in addition to drama (written about in previous blog), I find out just from listening to conversation that I wasn't supposed to have had anything to eat or drink the night before after 10 pm! Well, I hadn't, but....what if it had been a night like tonight....when it is midnight and I've had a glass and a half of water!

I continue to listen and find out that the urine sample was for a pregnancy test!!! Hello! One of the women was explaining to another that she always refuses because there is no sense paying for one when you've had a hysterectomy and then she has to sign off on paper that she is refusing. Well, guess, what....there is no way I could be pregnant either!!! (*rolling my eyes in a dramatic fashion*)

Needless to say between all the sharing of what problems they've had (especially the one whose band was too tight and another one who'd had the same thing happen to her and ended up in the ER!), I was just a tad nervous about having mine filled! I'll be digging out those papers they gave me when I left the hospital that I'm supposed to have on hand at all times in case I end up in an ER, so they'll know what to do with a lapband patient. One felt the need to continue sharing info about how drinking the liquid makes her so nauseated (great--it's now 7:00 am and I've had nothing to eat and I have about and hour and a half drive back to school!)

Dr. Green comes to get me and he's wearing a big navy apron that is splashed with white stuff--oh, lord, help!! I'm told to lay down on the x-ray table and scoot down so that my feet are resting on a footboard. I'm told to pull up my shirt (note to self: don't ever wear a dress on these days). My stomach is swabbed with betadine and then I'm told I'm going to have a little local to numb the area. Yeah...well, the initial stick wasn't bad, but all that rotating around to numb the area was a tad uncomfortable. Then Dr. Green immediately tells me that he is going to insert the "special" needle. Special needle?!! I take it this means I probably shouldn't look. But wait! Doesn't that local need time to numb---you know, like at the dentist office?? Guess not. I didn't feel a thing except the pressure of him pushing and then sort of a "pop" feeling when the needle went through the port. Then he tells me he's going to inject the saline. I was pretty relaxed, thinking I wouldn't feel a thing. I was wrong. Gadzooks!! There was this sudden rush and squeezing sensation that caused me to audibly grunt!! I was then tilted up and handed the dreaded glass of white liquid and told to take a mouthful and not swallow it (gee whiz!)---thank you, God, for it turning out to just be white colored water---no flavor, no chalk! Then I was told to swallow and the two doctors watched to make sure liquid was going through. Took out the needle, stuck a bandaid on me, and told me to stay on liquids for 3 days. What?? All I have with me in liquid form is a protein drink!!! I have my stewy soup, string cheese, crackers, and cottage cheese.

Guess I'll be looking for even more soup recipes...


Cream of Pumpkin Soup (sent to me by Kari, who swears it is delicious!)

3 Tbsp. butter
1 large onion, finely chopped (1 cup)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/8 to 1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper
2 14-oz. cans chicken broth
1/2 cup uncooked orzo or wild rice
1- 1/2 cups half-and-half, light cream, or milk
1 Tbsp. all-purpose flour
1 15-oz. can pumpkin
Cracked black pepper (optional)

In a large saucepan melt butter over medium-high heat. Add onion and garlic; cook for 3 to 5 minutes or until tender, stirring occasionally. Stir in crushed red pepper; cook for 1 minute. Add broth; bring to boiling. Stir in orzo or rice. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, about 10 minutes for orzo or 40 minutes for wild rice or until orzo or rice is tender.

In a screw-top jar combine half-and-half and flour. Cover; shake well to combine. Stir into orzo mixture; cook and stir until slightly thickened and bubbly. Stir in pumpkin; heat through. Transfer to an insulated container. Sprinkle each serving with cracked black pepper. Makes 6 to 8 side-dish servings.

[Note: might could add left over turkey to this?]